Fellow Spouses: Do any of you sometimes feel that when you are with your Friends or Family that you have the words "emotionally unstable" or "Oh, why yes. I would LOVE for you to bring up that my Husband is deployed because I'm definitely not reminded of that daily" written on your FACE?! I feel like most people I know do not know how to act around me any more. It's becoming really frickin' awkward. They are starting to over analyze my moods and mistake my "tiredness" for being depressed about deployment (more like mother nature is visiting and I'm a bit fatigued, people!) Or they mistake my "sour attitude" for me missing my Husband (apparently, I'm just not allowed to have bad days anymore). My favorite is when people say, "Gosh, this must be so hard for you! I would never want my daughter to marry someone who is in the Service." YUP! People say the DUMBEST things. I feel like a freak of nature that everyone is staring at when I walk into the room. Like they expect me to burst into tears when they say, "Hi". When actually, I'm doing perfectly fine. Of course I miss my Husband but I'm so excited for him and what he's doing right now. If anything, the way everyone is treating me is the only thing that's putting me down. I'm hoping this will all fade, SOON. I want my normal support system back!
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That is one thing that is super tough about deployments. We ARE allowed to have bad days, and no one says we aren't. Just stay busy and be your "normal" (whatever that is). So many times we get defensive because we are a bit more emotional and take things more "personally" that people say only when they are trying to be helpful. Remember that people have no clue how to react to deployments, they are usually at a loss for words of comfort, because they have never experienced what we are experiencing. Just keep that in mind, and remember that those people are just trying to comfort you/ease it all/make it better. Keep reminding yourself that you are a strong woman, with an amazing husband, and your love is only going to grow stronger through this. I know it's hard, and so many times we feel alone -- but we're not! Remember all the amazing spouses that have been doing this for decades/centuries! You can do it, girl! Chin up!
ReplyDeleteThank you for those encouraging words :) I guess I just needed to hear from someone else that actually understands.
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